


Justin

by SmallTimeWriter



Category: Brothers & Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallTimeWriter/pseuds/SmallTimeWriter
Summary: He would be leaving again.





	Justin

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Brothers & Sisters, all credit goes to the writers and creators.

_"Justin,"_

_"Justin,"_

_"Justin, it's mom. You need to..."_

_"He's not here."_

* * *

Julia knew this day had been coming, and it seemed it had been on Justin's mind too. He had called her a few times in the last few months just talk about the _when_. Sorrow filled her because she knew that he didn't want this. It made it all the worse when she had seen the fear concealed in his eyes.

Her eyes flicked across the room where her bag laid on the floor, she'd thrown it as soon as she entered the room, more concerned with his emotional state and now her phone was to far from her reach. Julia knew she had to call Nora, Tommy or Kitty but looking down at the hand grasping hers, she couldn't move. The fear was swarming his body, she felt it in his grip even though he was sleeping, it was strong fueled by fear.

Footsteps made her turn, bracing herself with the onslaught of one of his siblings but relief flooded her when Joe rounded the corner. It only took one look at Justin for him to understand.

"I'll call Nora."

Julia smiled slightly; that burden taken from her. "He's sober." She informed him.

Joe nodded, a proud smile taking over his features. "Good. He did the right thing, Jules. They'll be worried but they'll understand."

"Will they?" She raised her eyebrow. It wasn't easy keeping this from Tommy; but Justin didn't want his brothers or his sisters to know about his struggle with what happened. He didn't want them to blame Kitty anymore. "He's going back, Joe; I'm worried."

Joe rested his hand on her shoulder. "We will be there to catch him. This family will. You and I will see to it."

Julia turned her gaze back to Justin. Her and Joe were not Walkers by blood, they were raised different and understood the need for privacy in some aspects. She knew it was part of the reason Justin confided in them. They didn't seek for information, they waited and if he was ready, then they listened.

_"Justin,"_

_Justin didn't glance up at the sound of his name, his eyes focused completely on the pool, watching the water move gently at the guidance of the breeze. He'd only been back twenty four hours but this was the most at peace he'd been since walking through the front door. He knew his mother well enough to know that there would be a welcoming party with all of his siblings. He just hadn't braced himself for the coddling from his mother, the berating from half of his family, the hurt that sat in Kitty's eyes as their family without realizing ignored her presence._   
_They had never been a tactful family when it came to saying what they thought or sharing others private thoughts but he hadn't expected how tactless they would be when it came to his return. They wanted stories, details and they demanded it without thinking what it was doing to him. Justin didn't want them to know what he went through, he didn't want to burden them with what he had seen but most importantly he didn't want to relive it. Once was enough and his nightmares were torture._

_"Justin,"_

_Justin felt Julia's hand slip into his but he couldn't bare to look her way. Julia and Joe were completely different from his family, they were part of the clan but raised by other people._

_Julia had seen the onslaught from the Walkers and she was disappointed in every one of them. "You're home." She spoke the words softly, as if she knew he needed to hear those words._

_Justin couldn't stop the tears from rushing to his eyes, tears he had been holding back for what felt like the longest time._

_Julia squeezed his hand, offering him the support she knew he needed. "You're going to be okay."_

* * *

"You stupid selfish idiot. Do you have any idea of the pain you put mom through today?"

Tommy had Justin pushed against the wall before all the Walkers had finished entering the house. His anger taking over in the presence of his brother.

"Tommy!" Julia stepped off the bottom step and took a hold of her husbands arm, trying to shake him off.

Nora gasped; her eyes red from all the tears she had cried. "Tommy, no!" She placed a hand over her mouth at the scene.

Joe was the first to react, shoving Tommy away from Justin. "Enough." His voice was firm. "Not like this Tommy."

Nora rushed forward and pulled her son into her arms. "My baby. Where were you? Are you okay? My god, Justin; I've been so worried." Nora felt a short bout of relief flood through her body knowing her son was here in front of her.

Justin felt the embarrassment, along with the shame that he had worried his mother, his family. He knew what they would have thought, he knew what they would have expected him to do. "I'm sorry, mom; I didn't meant to worry you. I just needed time to process this."

"Kevin will..."

Kevin shut the front door, his eyes darting to his mother. "Mom, I already said I..."

Justin felt Kitty's eyes on him and he pulled her into a hug, however his eyes were on his mother. "Kevin can't help me. Not with this." He watched as mothers eyes close as he was sure the tears were forming again. He couldn't bare witness so he diverted his eyes to Kitty, leaning down so his lips were level with her ear. "This is not your fault, Kitty." He needed her to know that, to understand that this was his choice. He had signed a contract that allowed them to call him back. It was he who had enlisted in the first place, not her. "It's not your fault, Kit." He repeated to her, knowing that he was going to make sure his family understood that. That they didn't shun her for his choices, much like they had before.

"I don't understand why you want to go back."

Justin eyes flicked to Sarah. "It's not a choice, Sarah."

_"I'll have to go back. Not now, not tomorrow, not even in a week...but at some point I'll have no choice but to go back."_

_Julia was seated on the couch, her eyes following his movements as he paced back and forth across the floor. "Justin, breathe."_

_"I cannot go back there. It was hell, the devastation..."_

_He was spiraling, she could see it. The beer bottle in his hands a clear indication that he was struggling. She knew about the drug use and the drinking just as all the Walker family did. The only difference was she knew why, she had asked and then she had done more then coddle him, or fight with him about it. "Justin, tonight you were Paige's hero. You made all that fear disappear into the background."_

_Justin rolled his shoulders, his body trembling. "I'm no hero. Look at me now." There was nothing heroic about his actions. He had heard her cries and knew that he could do it better then they could, but it all came down to the practice that he'd had. What no one knew was that it came with flashbacks for him. Her cries, that simple pick of a needle. It was flashbacks for him, it was remembering all that he had fought so hard to bury._

_Julia stood up, she could see it before her very eyes. Him retreating. "Justin," She moved to take the bottle from him. "Hey, look at me." She waited for his eyes to meet hers. "If and when that time ever comes, I promise that this entire family will support you." She knew it was dangerous to promise such a thing, but this family would do better, they would support Justin through his career choice, she would see it. "But you must not live for the maybe, Justin; you need to live in the now. Right here, tonight, you did a good thing. Hold onto that."_

_"Jules;"_

_Julia grabbed his hand. "When was the last time you went to group?"_

_"It's been a while."_

_"Let's go together."_

"Sarah, Justin doesn't have a choice in this. He is going to return to active duty and he needs all our support."

"Support?" Nora exclaimed, shaking her head. "No, I...it's war..."

Tommy let his gaze flicker between his wife and brother. "How long did you know he was here before Joe called?"

Julia took a deep breath, she knew her husband wouldn't like this. "An hour."

"You knew he was here and instead of calling you sheltered him?! Why? Julia, do you have..."

Justin glared at his brother, letting go of Kitty. "Oi, watch it Tommy. She's your wife, you can't talk to her that way."

"Stay out of it Justin."

Justin stood his ground. "No! Enough. Julia didn't call because I asked her not too. I needed a moment to process." He breathed deeply. "I know this isn't what any of us want, you might not agree with it but I chose this life and I have to accept it." He turned his gaze to his mother. "I don't want to leave knowing you'll blame Kitty for it. My choices are my own. Not hers." His gaze flickered to his siblings. "I don't want you to shun her."

"We didn't."

"You did Kevin; it might not have been intentional but it happened." He turned to Tommy. "You should be proud of Julia. I needed support and none of you could give it to me. She did. She's my sister, Tommy; and I needed help. You can't fault her." He walked over and took a seat on the couch.

"So you're leaving." Sarah mumbled, walking into the room. "This decision you made, your career choice I can't..."

"Agree with it." Justin finished for her. "I understand, Sarah; I'm not asking for you to agree with my choices, I'm just asking for you to support me as your brother."

"I can't."

"You can and you will." Julia felt the entire families eyes on her. "He is going off to fight for this country and our freedom, and you will not be selfish enough to sit there and not tell him your proud."

Justin shook his head. "Jules,"

"No." Julia dismissed his attempt to stop her. "You judge him, the lot of you. It needs to stop. Justin is going to war. You need to accept it."

Nora sat beside her son and took his hand in hers. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I could get hurt walking in the street, mom." He squeezed her hands. "I might not want to go, but I'll admit, I was good over there. I acted when others would stumble. I have to do this."

"I'm scared I'll lose you." Nora's bottom lip quivered, and Justin pulled her into a hug.

"You won't lose me. I'll always be right with you but you will lose Kitty." He told her quietly, before drawing back and turning his attention to the rest of the family. "You need to promise that you'll look out for each other. Include each other. No one is left behind." His eyes found Kevin's. "No returning home to an empty apartment every night afraid of commitment. You have one life Kevin, live it." He looked to Sarah. "Don't spend every hour working till exhausted, you have a family Sarah."

Joe placed his hand on Sarah's shoulder, and squeezed. He might have been partly at fault for the state of their marriage but she had to shoulder some of the responsibility. This was something they could fix but only together.

"Tommy, it's okay to ask for help. To live your life. You're not dad, and no one is expecting you to be." He found Kitty's eyes, she might have been older then him but it didn't make her any less vulnerable. "It's not your fault that I made the choice to enlist. You cannot feel bad because I chose this." His gaze settled on Julia. "You are the reason I didn't spiral today. The reason I am confident in myself. I can do this."

"You can."

"Thankyou for believing in me, for seeing more then the drugs and the drinking."

Julia reached out and squeezed his hand. "You were just lost, but I'm happy to have helped you find yourself."

Justin turned to his mother. "I'm going to be okay, and I know you are too. You can worry but you also need to trust that I'll come home to you." He pulled her into another hug.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think?
> 
> Much Love. x


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